Bathing suit shopping.
I hate shopping for bathing suits. Guess what I did today. All because someone who shall remain nameless left crayons ion their pants pocket - and when I washed my WHITE and blue adorable tankini that ACTUALLY COVERED ALL THE BITS, guess what happened to it.. come on, I bet you'll NEVER guess....
YUP -- GREEN, RED, YELLOW AND BROWN all over it. Did I mention we're going on vacation in 2 weeks? To Great Wolf Lodge? You know that cool place with the indoor WATER-PARK? UGH... so I had to submit to shopping for, TRYING ON, and actually buying a new bathing suit.
I'd rather go to the dentist. And those of you, gentle readers, who know me in real life and would say -"But Heather! You look great, you're slim! What are you complaining about?" I will TELL you what I am complaining about -- clothing hides an multitude of sins, a bigger back end than you think, and railroad tracks and saggy baby belly skin galore. All of which are shown to their "glory" in most bathing suits.
Sigh.
Nothing like going in Target and having your son (in his less than quiet voice) point to a poster on the wall and announce "Mama, you better not buy that one! It's not modest!!" (K~ in his defense it wasn't modest - it was a string bikini). BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!! While in the torture chamber dressing room, having said less that quiet son say as you're trying suits on "Oh no mama, NOT THAT ONE", or "NONONO , not that one either - THAT doesn't look good".
You all can't have him - he's MY little ray of sunshine.
Truthfully, finding a modest bathing suit (you know not cut to my navel and properly covering the "girls" while also covering my more ample posterior without looking Grammy-ish) for a non-laugh inducing price is about as easy as finding the Holy Grail. I refuse to pay $90 for the TOP half of a bathing suit.
However as hope springs eternal, and we ARE going on vacation in 2 weeks - I kept looking. And I WAS SUCCESSFUL!!!! I got an adorable Tommy Hillfiger tankini (but wait Heather - didn't you JUST say you would not spend $90 for the top of a bathing suit?? Why yes, yes I did - pray, continue reading) and another by Longitude (and yes it's plus size - which I am apparently in when it comes to bathing suits). And I got them both for $60! YES gentle readers - I got 2 name brand bathing suits in a brick and mortar store for $60 TOTAL! Where you ask -- why TJ Maxx of course. And next time I will go there first.
And all while dragging 2 children along - who did not cease to point out that most bathing suits were "not modest Mommy" THAT was fun, really, try it sometime. Make sure the kids point out that about a string bikini next to a woman who has just reached over to pluck one of said bathing suit off the rack. Good Times!
I would post pictures of the suits (the SUITS-- not me IN the suits-- I don't want to shock anyone!!) but hubby had the 'puter with the thingymabob for the camera....
Oh my, kids are fun aren't they!!
Mine tend to talk about people being too fat, too thin, ugly, old, wrinkled, big nose and heaven forbid they have some sort of disfigurement!! You would think hubby and I make comments all the time based on what they say-t'is not the case. They just need to speak what they know and don't care who hears it.
Posted by: janjanmom | March 30, 2007 at 02:56 PM
Oh I needed this laugh! I live in florida, and eveyr summer I go through this same exact thing (Except sometimes it is with markers, instead of crayongs ;) )
-H
Posted by: Heather (Sand Sea & School) | March 24, 2007 at 10:50 PM
LOL! THis had me laughing through the whole thing! I haven't been shopping for a swim suit since before I was married. And until the crayons are left in the wash I don't plan to buy another. Even then I just might still wear it since tie-dye is in you know . . .I usually put my one piece on with a pair of swimming shorts and call it a suit.
It works.
Anyway . . . glad (and a stunned!) at your find for you!
Posted by: Michelle in MX | March 21, 2007 at 07:30 PM
Why does it have to be modest?
Posted by: M-j | March 20, 2007 at 09:04 AM
I am dreading it. Bathing suit shopping. Do I HAVE TO?!?!? I usually find a cute suit, then a nice cover up and skirt. Then it's like, why wear the suit at all!?
Join my Photo Tag going on! Hope you’d like to play along and post about the shoes you can't live without!
Steph
Posted by: Adventures In Babywearing | March 18, 2007 at 10:34 PM
I have been away from the blogs for a bit, but I love reading your stories. You have this great way of bringing the stories to life. I especially love the "that's not modest, Mommy" bit! Har! I'll be reading more often now :) Congrats on finding that great bargain!
Posted by: cryssyer | March 18, 2007 at 07:43 PM